Journal 10
I have been taking a break from house hunting for a few weeks, but this weekend I took a peek at Zillow. Not much has changed. I noticed how some of the listing descriptions have gotten marginally better. They are less flourish-y bullshit-y and faster to state actual facts about the properties instead of an imaginary “brunch” I am having making “lifelong memories” while “immersed in the sounds of nature.” Yes, thank you, I never would have thought to do that. It’s almost as if some realtor association sent out a realtor-wide notice that the usual descriptions were just too horrible haha. Beyond normal passable levels.
Over the years, I have looked at so many rentals and houses for sale in many neighborhoods, states, and even other countries. Not only has it been emotionally difficult, but the actual searching is draining too. I searched extensively for apartment rentals, condominiums, single family houses, homestead sites, and land. One hope I had was to build a property on a rural piece of land. But the rules regarding building on rural land are convoluted and do not match the mainstream impression.
A lot of the cheap rural lots for sale cannot be built on and can only be used for camping or hunting. Essentially, you can stand on it but not much else! Many lots are not immediately suitable for building and require extensive processes and permits to get it approved for a house. But when these properties are being sold, the description does not mention any of this. To get information, you need to read a zoning code last updated in 2004 and call an office in a town that is only open on Wednesdays. Last week, a town returned my call from two months ago. She was very nice though!
I could go on about this for a long time, but I just wanted to talk about the internet-searching part of things and poke fun at the listing descriptions. The rural listings really are so stupid! Either it is a short and shady description: “call or Text xxx-xxxx ask for ned.” Or it is this flourish-y fantasy:
“Come live the good life! Beautiful rustic quiet 2.3 acres just waiting for your sweet life to begin! Come bring you and your architect and draw up plans for the house of your dreams! In this house of your dreams, you and your family will enjoy countless hours breathing the fresh air, enjoying outdoor recreational activities, and using the nearby-within-30-minute-drive access to hiking trails and national parks. Imagine, waking up and hearing the sound of the stream as you and your family enjoy breakfast together on the deck. Get away from the hustle and bustle of the city! Build the house of your dreams and make priceless memories in your own private oasis!”
If I was a realtor, this is how I would list that property:
This 2.3 acre parcel is for sale, but you cannot build on it. It is only possible to build on if you have enough road frontage, which here you don’t. Even then you need at least 5 acres in this county for a home site. It will probably not be approved because you won’t have a septic tank. Why won’t you have a septic tank? Because there is not enough room for a drilled well away enough from the septic tank, which you will need if you want to obtain a certificate of occupancy. No your poopoo may not go into a composting toilet. HOA agents will show up at your house and confiscate your poopoo. If you want a great private spot for camping (just tents no RVs) a 4.5 hour drive away from New York City, this is the property for you!
Nearby there are high tension wires and an industrial factory up the hill.
Contact Agent Asya today!!!